Yeah, it's a pretty song. That doesn't mean I have to like singing it, not now that I know about what went on behind the scenes with making it. I don't like to see my Shu-chan cry, and even across the audience, I can tell he's about to do it again. Tohma says I shouldn't be so concerned with Shu-chan since Bad Luck is our rivals. Shu-chan shines too pretty for me to give up though. He's my Shu-chan, and I don't want to share him, especially not with that Yuki guy Tohma likes so much. He's mean to my Shu-chan!
If Shu-chan was all mine, I wouldn't make him cry. I wouldn't let him be sad. I've tried so many times to make him realize this. Does he think I share Kuma-chan with just anyone? Does he think I go out of my way to be nice to just anyone? He probably does. It wouldn't be my Shu-chan if he weren't so innocent.
I just wish I could make him see past that Yuki guy. I know his band mates want the same thing. That Yuki guy's no good for him. Even I can see it. I've seen Shu-chan go into slump after slump because of what that Yuki has put him through. I've seen him come into NG with tears in his eyes more times than I care to count. And every time I've seen Shu-chan go back to that guy, worship in his eyes. He has worship in his eyes when he looks at me too, but it's such a different kind. His world will not rise and set on me, the way it does for that Yuki guy. I'm just his idol... and maybe his friend.
I let my eyes go over the crowd again, automatically searching out Shuichi's. They're starting to water; he's going to cry! No way I can let that! But he's way over there. What can I do?
My mouth is moving before it has a chance to talk to my head. "Shuichi!" I yell. "Shuichi!" I guess I'll be sharing my stage with him now. Well, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather share it with, anyway. "Shuichi, you've got to come sing with me!"
Next thing I know, he's tearing through the crowd, heading for the stage, an ecstatic grin plastered all over his face. I guess I'll be letting him take over the song that Yuki wrote about him now. No, we'll make a duet of it. I'll have to see what he decides to do.
He's so happy. That's thanks to me, not that Yuki creep. I made him happy. It wasn't that Yuki jerk that managed to get him here tonight, either. That was me too. My Shu-chan.
I offer a hand down and pull him up on the stage, dragging him over to the microphone. I know I won't be blamed for holding on to him a little longer than might be acceptable otherwise, but I have to take my moments where I can get them. And when this song is over, I'll go back to being your idol - and loving you from afar.
And, I swear, the next song I sing to you will be my own words. It will be... our Predilection.
23 July 2004
Waiiiiiii!!! Ryuichi!!! Ryuichi-sama! *fangirl squeal* I'm so glad Ryoko challenged me to write a Ryuichi/Shuichi fic. I'm not sure this is what she had in mind, but.... I'm good at the angst. I need to get back to writing happy endings. Saa... Maybe I'll write another Ryu/Shu fic with a happy ending - and even manage to do it in series!
Anyway, that's it for me for now! Later!